Guardian of Little Souls

I have had a tremendous few weeks, and I am excited to share it with you. I will pick a random place to begin, and then tangentially progress from there.

As the school year has unfolded, I have noticed my principal putting me in progressively more positions of responsibility. First, there was the principals’ meeting, for which I am still receiving good-natured flak at my school—“Oh, here comes Principal Cook!” And then I became responsible for all of the information in that meeting. I had to train the teachers on the new program for submitting lesson plans, and somehow I became responsible for how to scan the answer sheets from the district’s nine weeks tests as well—though I never received any training on it myself! My principal sent me to the UniBond training on Monday, which is a neat and painless way that a school can create and bind books or handbooks. During our professional development day, my principal asked me to create the handbook for the school’s Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS) program, as mandated by the MS Department of Education. AND she selected me to serve on the SACS steering committee in addition to my required presence on one of the subcommittees. I barely understand it, but SACS has something to do with the district’s re-accreditation process, and all faculty and staff—including our custodial staff—have to serve on one of the subcommittees, so there was no way of avoiding it anyway. Now I am just doubly involved, I suppose.

After yet another phone call of, “Oh, and my principal has selected me for ___________ committee or _____________ training,” my mom gave me a long pause and finally said, “Does she realize that your commitment was only for two years?” Good, I am not the only one to wonder what it is exactly that my principal is playing at! I am honored by the strong voice of confidence, but I also wonder what will happen next year. I don’t even know what I plan to do, but it seems that my principal is hoping to help me make the decision to stay another year! For the present, it feels very gratifying to be doing more than simply teaching in my school. I am trying to make a positive impact on my students, their parents, AND my co-workers. I am causing some movement, if nothing else!

First thing Thursday morning, two fourth grade girls came to my class asking to see three of my boys. Another teacher requested a chat with them. Two of the three are pretty good kids without any history of trouble, but the third has a reputation that precedes him. Having been caught stealing in the past and possessing a pronounced anger management issue that continues to plague him, this student is in trouble at least a few times a week. I sent them off with a little consternation about what they had done. The first two returned relatively quickly, and they were extremely agitated about the incident, telling me that the teacher had some stuff come up missing and the third boy was the one accused of stealing it (accused by the two fourth grade girls who came to get them). Not too long later, he returned to my classroom in a huff, obviously upset and angry. I have never had a single issue with this kid, and I am very good at diffusing his anger before it even gets a chance to fully develop, which means he is awesome in my class. In some ways, he is actually beyond awesome. I was still standing in front of him when the door to my room flew open, and here came this teacher in an even bigger huff. She demanded to see his bookbag, which she snatched from under his desk and proceeded to search. She pulled out two plastic toy cars from the front pocket, held them up to my class, and asked, “Who do these belong to? Who do they belong to?” The class shook their collective heads in horrified confusion as the boy replied over and over, “They’re mine! They’re mine!” As she continued on through his messy possessions, she kept a constant stream of dialog about how he would never step in her room again, how he was no good, and she wanted to see “the person who made you.” The student of course responded disrespectfully and angrily to each one of her comments, and all the while I attempted to keep him from saying anything. If this wasn’t enough, as she left she even took the time to disrespect me, though now I forget her words.

As soon as she left, I ushered the student out of the room, took him calmly by the arms as he tearfully asserted that he had not taken anything from her classroom. I asked him to tell the absolute truth without fear of any consequences, and still he denied stealing. I asked if he had stolen anything from anyone else this year (I knew he had, on the second day of school), and he admitted in detail the earlier incident. I had no reason to believe he was lying in this new case, and so I explained to him the power of a reputation and the necessity for him to stop any more behavior that could get him in trouble. I urged him to never mouth off to a teacher, even if he felt that person was wrong, because then it made it more difficult for other adults to believe him. He calmed down sufficiently, and he re-entered my classroom sound in the knowledge that at least I trusted his story.

Not long after, my principal showed up at the door, wanting to talk to the kid about what he had done. I told her that I wished to speak with her first, and in the hallway I explained the entire situation as far as I could see it. I also told her that I wanted to lodge an official complaint against the teacher for her lack of professionalism and respect toward me, and the obvious and unnecessary abuse she exhibited toward one of my students. She agreed to investigate the matter further, and talked with the student at length to get his story.

I went home still disturbed by the incident, though not completely surprised, since this teacher has a history of an incredibly sour attitude and borderline abusive nature toward the students. I have only a few kids who have ever wanted to go to her class in two years of teaching. But then I finally realized what made the situation so damaging for me: it wasn’t so much this teacher’s actions. Instead, it was my own: I had failed to protect not only this one student, but also my entire class from her out-of-control anger. I had failed to stop a situation that escalated beyond reason, and I felt responsible for the hurt it caused.

I woke up in the morning determined to do something about these events and to definitively prevent a similar incident from ever happening again. I went straight to my principal’s office and requested that she mediate a meeting between me and this teacher. I told her I felt the need to resolve the situation on my terms. She was completely supportive. During my planning period, my principal called us both to the office, and told the teacher that I had something I wanted to say. I explained to the woman that I have worked hard in my classroom to create an atmosphere where students feel safe, welcome, and respected, but her behavior in my classroom jeopardized that environment for ALL of my students, not just the boy in question. She lost control, she provoked a kid with a known anger problem, and she was not welcome in my classroom anymore. In the future, if she needs to address an issue with one of my students, she needs to do it in her own room or in the principal’s office. I do not want her entering my room ever again without express permission beforehand.

If you are surprised at those words, believe it: I really did say them. I also explained to her that this kid is an angel in my classroom, because—shockingly—I treat him with calm and respect. I model for him everyday how I want his behavior to look, and he never fails to meet my expectations. Her and my responsibility as teachers is to model for these types of kids exactly what kind of behavior we want from them. If she wants to persistently have such a negative relationship with this student, then she will get it. All she has to do is continue provoking him with her own issues of anger and lack of control.

I gotta tell you: this felt pretty damn good. I stood up for my kids, I ensured that a similar incident would never happen again within my four walls, and…..I made an enemy. So be it. That tells me that I am living. If I don’t make someone angry, I am not doing it right.

One of my girls sadly remarked to me, “Ms. Cook, you have a bruise right here,” and she pointed to the area right under my eye. Yes, sweetheart, I am losing sleep over all of you. That is how much I care.

Nine Weeks In...

This past Thursday marked the end of the first nine weeks! Already! The school year has a momentum that I never expected, but always hoped to experience, and the result is pretty amazing. I cannot believe how differently this school year has started than just one year ago. Long overdue, I am really excited to discuss my progress.

From day one, I established a classroom culture that practices—or at least attempts to practice—respect and cooperation rather than selfishness and getting one’s “licks back.” I hated last year how students would steal from each other and fight one another with such anger and animosity all of the time and would only occasionally demonstrate incredible generosity and kindness. So this year I actively modeled and rewarded more positive behaviors, and the outcomes have been tangible. Rather than stealing a stray pencil on the floor, my students say, “Is this anyone’s pencil? Ms. Cook, I found a loose pencil on the floor and no one has claimed it.” OR, the best one yet, “Ms. Cook, I found this dollar on the floor behind your chair.” And then another student, “I think it’s Teja’s dollar. She had one in her pocket earlier and she was just by your chair a while ago.” Plus I have not sent ONE student to the office this year for fighting or antagonizing another student. These are encouraging developments, to say the least! I have one student whom I knew from last year had substantial anger and behavior problems, and I was not looking forward to teaching him. But I have yet to have a problem with him in my classroom. I know my two co-teachers struggle with him quite a bit, but so far, he is great!

I think the key to my success at the beginning is that I have ascribed to a very simple principle: I am going to treat students’ behavior and misbehavior as something that is not personal to me. I teach my students that they are in charge of their own actions. They make a choice to act in certain ways. I will nonchalantly say to them, “Oops, you made a choice to [insert misbehavior], so here is the consequence.” I make it clear that I am not upset and not taking it personally, but I do want them to learn to act in ways that will help them succeed in school. Last year I would get so upset with my students and their misbehavior, taking it as an affront to me, but this year I am doing a much better job keeping calm and keeping students separate from me. It means that students see a model of a peaceful and respectful adult who they can emulate and I get to go home less stressed.

As a result of all this, I am going to arrogantly boast that of all aspects of my teaching practice, I am super proud of my behavior management. As you will remember, last year was just plain difficult on this front, but I managed to survive and even make some improvements. This year, I am extremely satisfied with the control and structure I have given my students. My lines look great in the hallway and the cafeteria, my classroom is quiet and productive, and my students do not need me to constantly monitor them in order for them to be on their best behavior (though this last point still requires some work).

My new co-teacher is struggling with behavior management, and so she wanted to implement a common behavior system across the three classes. She started a behavior stick with clips, where individual student clips start on green and go down to yellow, orange, or red for misbehavior. I tried the whole behavior stick thing last year and hated it, but I wanted to be supportive of my co-teacher and her attempts to gain greater control. I get frustrated because students’ behavior clips carry over from the other two classes into my class, so they come to me much lower than their usual behavior in my classroom would justify. So I have made the system work for me by emphasizing that students can move back UP the behavior stick by displaying good behavior. I have students tell me each day why their clip is down, and then what they need to do to change that: step 1, stop the misbehavior; and step 2, get caught being that good. It is simple for them, and great for me. I very rarely move a clip down, and students almost always finish on green by the end of my class. So if nothing else, students are finding my class as an opportunity for redemption!

I have received a few great compliments: one from another teacher who wants to observe and gather ideas, one from my principal, and one inadvertently from my students. My students were at Unified Arts, but as I walked to a corner of the hallway, I could hear that some of them were out waiting for their art teacher to arrive. As I rounded the corner, they caught sight of me, loudly whispered, “Here comes Ms. Cook!” and the line immediately snapped to silent attention. It was a beautiful sight. Truly.

As for my principal, she was sick this past week, and she had to attend several meetings for all the principals in the school district (about 11) and the central office administration. She chose me to fill in for her. I was honored. I must say, it was interesting to see how differently meetings are for the administrators versus the teachers. There were plenty of yummy goodies for the principals, but I have never had any at a teachers’ meeting. I took advantage of my temporary status. I was also displeased with the attitudes of some principals, who spoke of their teachers as though they were children who required administrative controls to get them to do their jobs. We received information about a new program for submitting lesson plans online, and rather than seeing the program as a great way to streamline a paper-heavy process, the principals looked at it as a way to catch and punish teachers who do not submit their lesson plans on time. They certainly highlighted the divide between the teachers and the administration, making it feel like we are on opposite sides rather than the same team. What are we here for, guys? To complain about each other? Or to work together in educating these students? Perhaps this is one of the reasons behind the crappy quality of education in the Mississippi Delta.

And I should note, I am such a better TFA corps member this year than I was last year! I have not quite drunk the Kool-Aid, but I have come to value the solid training that I have received. TFA has the right ideas when it comes to education, such as backward planning, positive behavior management, and investing the students, and I can see how much more my students are accomplishing when I use the system to my advantage rather than seeing it as additional work. Ultimately, my thinking is more in line with TFA teachings, and so things are progressing organically from there. I just wanted to survive last year, but this year I am looking to be a better teacher.

AND, I love my job. Perhaps not every single day, but I am happy with what I have achieved and what my students continue to achieve. What an awesome feeling.