Guardian of Little Souls

I have had a tremendous few weeks, and I am excited to share it with you. I will pick a random place to begin, and then tangentially progress from there.

As the school year has unfolded, I have noticed my principal putting me in progressively more positions of responsibility. First, there was the principals’ meeting, for which I am still receiving good-natured flak at my school—“Oh, here comes Principal Cook!” And then I became responsible for all of the information in that meeting. I had to train the teachers on the new program for submitting lesson plans, and somehow I became responsible for how to scan the answer sheets from the district’s nine weeks tests as well—though I never received any training on it myself! My principal sent me to the UniBond training on Monday, which is a neat and painless way that a school can create and bind books or handbooks. During our professional development day, my principal asked me to create the handbook for the school’s Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS) program, as mandated by the MS Department of Education. AND she selected me to serve on the SACS steering committee in addition to my required presence on one of the subcommittees. I barely understand it, but SACS has something to do with the district’s re-accreditation process, and all faculty and staff—including our custodial staff—have to serve on one of the subcommittees, so there was no way of avoiding it anyway. Now I am just doubly involved, I suppose.

After yet another phone call of, “Oh, and my principal has selected me for ___________ committee or _____________ training,” my mom gave me a long pause and finally said, “Does she realize that your commitment was only for two years?” Good, I am not the only one to wonder what it is exactly that my principal is playing at! I am honored by the strong voice of confidence, but I also wonder what will happen next year. I don’t even know what I plan to do, but it seems that my principal is hoping to help me make the decision to stay another year! For the present, it feels very gratifying to be doing more than simply teaching in my school. I am trying to make a positive impact on my students, their parents, AND my co-workers. I am causing some movement, if nothing else!

First thing Thursday morning, two fourth grade girls came to my class asking to see three of my boys. Another teacher requested a chat with them. Two of the three are pretty good kids without any history of trouble, but the third has a reputation that precedes him. Having been caught stealing in the past and possessing a pronounced anger management issue that continues to plague him, this student is in trouble at least a few times a week. I sent them off with a little consternation about what they had done. The first two returned relatively quickly, and they were extremely agitated about the incident, telling me that the teacher had some stuff come up missing and the third boy was the one accused of stealing it (accused by the two fourth grade girls who came to get them). Not too long later, he returned to my classroom in a huff, obviously upset and angry. I have never had a single issue with this kid, and I am very good at diffusing his anger before it even gets a chance to fully develop, which means he is awesome in my class. In some ways, he is actually beyond awesome. I was still standing in front of him when the door to my room flew open, and here came this teacher in an even bigger huff. She demanded to see his bookbag, which she snatched from under his desk and proceeded to search. She pulled out two plastic toy cars from the front pocket, held them up to my class, and asked, “Who do these belong to? Who do they belong to?” The class shook their collective heads in horrified confusion as the boy replied over and over, “They’re mine! They’re mine!” As she continued on through his messy possessions, she kept a constant stream of dialog about how he would never step in her room again, how he was no good, and she wanted to see “the person who made you.” The student of course responded disrespectfully and angrily to each one of her comments, and all the while I attempted to keep him from saying anything. If this wasn’t enough, as she left she even took the time to disrespect me, though now I forget her words.

As soon as she left, I ushered the student out of the room, took him calmly by the arms as he tearfully asserted that he had not taken anything from her classroom. I asked him to tell the absolute truth without fear of any consequences, and still he denied stealing. I asked if he had stolen anything from anyone else this year (I knew he had, on the second day of school), and he admitted in detail the earlier incident. I had no reason to believe he was lying in this new case, and so I explained to him the power of a reputation and the necessity for him to stop any more behavior that could get him in trouble. I urged him to never mouth off to a teacher, even if he felt that person was wrong, because then it made it more difficult for other adults to believe him. He calmed down sufficiently, and he re-entered my classroom sound in the knowledge that at least I trusted his story.

Not long after, my principal showed up at the door, wanting to talk to the kid about what he had done. I told her that I wished to speak with her first, and in the hallway I explained the entire situation as far as I could see it. I also told her that I wanted to lodge an official complaint against the teacher for her lack of professionalism and respect toward me, and the obvious and unnecessary abuse she exhibited toward one of my students. She agreed to investigate the matter further, and talked with the student at length to get his story.

I went home still disturbed by the incident, though not completely surprised, since this teacher has a history of an incredibly sour attitude and borderline abusive nature toward the students. I have only a few kids who have ever wanted to go to her class in two years of teaching. But then I finally realized what made the situation so damaging for me: it wasn’t so much this teacher’s actions. Instead, it was my own: I had failed to protect not only this one student, but also my entire class from her out-of-control anger. I had failed to stop a situation that escalated beyond reason, and I felt responsible for the hurt it caused.

I woke up in the morning determined to do something about these events and to definitively prevent a similar incident from ever happening again. I went straight to my principal’s office and requested that she mediate a meeting between me and this teacher. I told her I felt the need to resolve the situation on my terms. She was completely supportive. During my planning period, my principal called us both to the office, and told the teacher that I had something I wanted to say. I explained to the woman that I have worked hard in my classroom to create an atmosphere where students feel safe, welcome, and respected, but her behavior in my classroom jeopardized that environment for ALL of my students, not just the boy in question. She lost control, she provoked a kid with a known anger problem, and she was not welcome in my classroom anymore. In the future, if she needs to address an issue with one of my students, she needs to do it in her own room or in the principal’s office. I do not want her entering my room ever again without express permission beforehand.

If you are surprised at those words, believe it: I really did say them. I also explained to her that this kid is an angel in my classroom, because—shockingly—I treat him with calm and respect. I model for him everyday how I want his behavior to look, and he never fails to meet my expectations. Her and my responsibility as teachers is to model for these types of kids exactly what kind of behavior we want from them. If she wants to persistently have such a negative relationship with this student, then she will get it. All she has to do is continue provoking him with her own issues of anger and lack of control.

I gotta tell you: this felt pretty damn good. I stood up for my kids, I ensured that a similar incident would never happen again within my four walls, and…..I made an enemy. So be it. That tells me that I am living. If I don’t make someone angry, I am not doing it right.

One of my girls sadly remarked to me, “Ms. Cook, you have a bruise right here,” and she pointed to the area right under my eye. Yes, sweetheart, I am losing sleep over all of you. That is how much I care.